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Stocking an Ex’s profile is not love, it’s a habit of mind; Learn how to get yourself out of this emotional loop

Noida Clinical Psychologist Dr. Learn from Jaya Sukul the 3 important stages of starting a new life

Question: I am 25 years old. I had a breakup 5 months ago. We were in a relationship for a year. He moved on and four months later got a new girlfriend, but I’m still stuck there. I keep spying on his social media stock from another account, as we are blocked on Facebook-Instagram. I want to move forward, but I can’t move forward. Please tell me what should I do?

Answer (Dr. Jaya Sukul, Clinical Psychologist):

Thanks for asking the question. Even after a breakup, thinking about your ex and looking at his profile by creating a fake account—this problem is not only to love, but to our feelings and habits. If you understand what your mind is holding on to, it will be much easier to move on. Let’s understand it in detail:

1. Are you missing that boy or the feeling of the relationship?

After a breakup, we often feel like we miss that person, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes we miss the ‘feeling’ we had in that relationship more than His presence—like someone waiting for us, caring for us, making us feel special.

2. Was this feeling last in life?

Life is long and it doesn’t end on a breakup. Think with a cool mind, will there not be a man in the future who:

• Will take care of you and give emotional support.
• Will make you feel safe.
• With whom it will be nice to hang out, watch movies and listen to songs. Wait a little and focus on your self care.

3. Why did the last breakup happen? Face the truth

If you really want to move on, look back on your old relationship without anger or regret. Ask yourself why that relationship broke up? Sometimes there is love between two people, but trust, communication, respect or thinking about the future are not the same. When you can honestly admit that the relationship wasn’t viable, it’s easier to move on than to relive it over and over again.

3 Important Steps to Move-On:

Psychology says that moving on is not a one-day event, but a process. So follow these three methods:

Step 1: Accept the breakup

First of all accept the truth that what was meant to be has happened and that relationship is now over. If you feel like crying, cry freely or write your heart out in a diary instead of trying to stop the bubble of your mind. When you accept the truth of the present, the mind will gradually calm down.

Step 2: Learn to ‘Let Go’

Let go does not mean hating, but rather freeing yourself from the habits that bind you to the past. Immediately stop viewing his profile, viewing old photos or reading chats from other accounts. All these things keep that relationship alive in your mind again and again. When you distance yourself from these things, the mind will have room for new experiences.

Step 3: Give yourself priority (Self-Priority).

Focus on grooming yourself to move forward. Create a new routine, take up a new hobby like gym, yoga, dance or painting. Spend time with friends and family members who make you happy. When you prioritize your career and happiness, the wounds of the heart will heal automatically.

Final point:

Now is the time to get yourself out of this emotional loop. Take a deep breath, trust that your life story doesn’t end here. Smile and step forward to a new and beautiful beginning.