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Usually, when there is talk of ‘heartbreak’ or breakup, people’s attention goes directly towards a romantic relationship. Films are made, songs are written on the pain of betrayal or separation in love and the society also easily accepts that pain. But do you know that the breakup of a true and deep friendship can make a person feel as trapped and broken as the breakup of a romantic relationship?

Often people ignore the pain of losing a best friend forever, thinking that “he/she was just a friend”. But the reality is that this is such an untold pain, which badly affects the mental health of a person from within. Let us know what goes on in a person’s mind when a friendship breaks and what are the right ways to get out of this deep loneliness.

1. The untold pain of breaking a friendship: Why does this pain hurt as much as a romantic breakup?

A true friend is that important part of our life in front of whom we can be completely ‘ourselves’ without any mask or hesitation. We share those secrets, shortcomings and foolishness of our life with them which perhaps even our family or partner does not know. When the same best friend suddenly goes away from your life forever and you realize that you will never talk to him again, then there is a huge emptiness in the mind. This pain is even more troubling because there is no social circle or formal structure like ‘divorce’ to express it, due to which the person keeps suffocating alone.

2. Formation of distrust and fear in the mind: Reluctance to raise hand again

If a friendship ends on some misunderstanding, bitterness or bad note, then it affects the future of the person. An unknown fear settles inside the mind that “when my best friend can leave me, anyone in the world can”. Due to this deep distrust (Trust Issues), people are never able to muster the courage to extend their hand of friendship to anyone again in their entire life. They close themselves into a shell, due to which despair and loneliness become a permanent part of their life.

3. Feeling of Rejection and terrible loneliness (Feeling of Rejection)

Since the emotional attachment in friendship is very deep and selfless, when there is a sudden breakup in friendship, the feeling of rejection increases wildly in the mind of the person. He begins to feel that perhaps there was something wrong with him or that he was not worthy of being a good friend. This inferiority complex hurts the self-esteem of a person. Due to this, he cuts himself off from social gatherings, due to which the risk of depression and loneliness increases manifold.

How to recover from this breakup of friendship? Adopt these 3 important life rules

If you too have recently gone through a situation where your years-old friendship has broken, then make the following things a part of your life to handle yourself and come out of this phase:

• Don’t suppress emotions, let the pain be felt: The first and most important thing is to accept your grief. If you feel like crying, cry openly, write in a diary or talk to another trusted person. By forcefully suppressing emotions, the mind starts becoming heavy from within. Remember that time heals every wound, just give yourself some time.

• Avoid the blame game completely: Often, after the end of any relationship, people get angry and start pointing out the shortcomings of the other person or speaking ill of them on society or social media. Never throw mud at the other person to prove yourself right. Respect the dignity of the time you spent together and move on in a dignified manner.

• Focus on self-growth and new activities: After the friendship ends, instead of sitting idle and looking at old chats or pictures, focus your entire attention on ‘self-growth’. Learn a new hobby, join a gym, read books, or travel to new places. When you get busy in improving yourself, you will automatically get a chance to connect with a new and positive person in life.