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There’s been a surge in debate across the internet over where dads of young daughters (girl-dads) should take their little ones when they need to use the bathroom in public spaces. Should it be the men’s bathroom or the women’s bathroom? 

While this is a rather nuanced discussion, the majority of the people who oppose fathers taking their daughters to the women’s bathroom are not women; they’re fellow men.

As men become more involved than ever in the parenting process, people are starting to hold them to standards that didn’t really exist before. As a result, many fathers are left trying to navigate this new societal landscape while also doing their best to be a good caregiver, including taking their children to the restrooms to relieve themselves. However, men seem to be judging them much more harshly than women.

Other men are making girl-dads feel ashamed for taking their daughters to the women’s bathroom.

In a recent TikTok, girl-dad Tyler Brodsky went viral after uploading a video he recorded of an older man calling the police on him at a KwikTrip in Florida. For what reason, you ask? For taking his two little girls to the women’s bathroom.

Upon seeing this, a female KwikTrip employee comes to Brodsky and his daughters’ aid by closing the door on the man and helping Brodsky’s daughters finish washing their hands. The video ends with Brodsky attempting to leave the KwikTrip, only to be told by the man that he has to stay because the cops are on their way.

This is just one of many egregious examples of fellow men shaming girl-dads for trying to do the right thing and facing tough decisions. It’s never easy to be a parent, but to be publicly humiliated in front of your children for trying your best is a horrible feeling. Not to mention, this incident terrified the little girls who were crying at the commotion and on their father’s behalf. 

Another girl-dad, men’s life coach Alex Vigilante, asked the internet for their thoughts on him taking his girls to the women’s bathroom, and what other girl-dads had to say about it. A lot of them had reservations about it, with one girl-dad commenting, “The world doesn’t revolve around my daughter or me, & it’s not fair for an innocent adult female to walk into me in her safe place.”

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Women are overwhelmingly OK with girl-dads going into the women’s bathroom for their young daughter’s safety.

Even though it can be a little strange to witness a man in a women’s bathroom, many women stated that it absolutely makes sense why girl-dads feel compelled to take their daughter to their assigned gender’s bathroom. From their perspective, the safety of a child comes first, and if it means a father temporarily entering the bathroom to help his little girl, so be it.

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For both Brodsky and Vigilante, both received an enormous amount of support from their female counterparts who felt that it is perfectly acceptable to bring a young girl into the women’s bathroom given that the alternative is nothing short of unappealing. One woman commented under Vigilante’s post, “I’d rather feel a little uncomfortable and know a child is safe in the women’s restroom than have a little girl in the men’s room where there’s urinals and what not.”

Women seem to especially appreciate it when a girl-dad announces himself before walking in, letting them know he is only there to help his daughter. This was further exemplified by girl-dad Jeremy, who shared an incident at Walmart where a male worker tried to stop him from going into the women’s bathroom with his daughter. 

Jeremy proceeded despite the worker’s judgment and afterward took to the internet, explaining, “I announce myself when I walk into a restroom with her. ‘Hey, girl dad here taking his daughter to the bathroom,” citing that “every single stall in a women’s restroom is secluded and private.”  He added, “There’s an exposed area in men’s restrooms” as his reasoning for preferring the women’s bathroom. One woman responded, “As a mother, I would NEVER be upset with a dad bringing his daughter into the women’s room, especially if he has the courtesy to announce it.” 

And ultimately this is why family restrooms are so important. Men’s bathrooms are usually less clean and often don’t even have changing tables if diapering is a concern. More importantly, moms are not always the sole caregivers for their kids. 

These days, fathers are trying to change what it means to be an involved parent in their children’s lives. Because of this, fellow men need to be more supportive and understanding, especially to girl-dads who are trying their best. Something as simple as going to the bathroom shouldn’t cause such an uproar. And if the demographic that you’re trying to advocate for (women) are saying that they’re OK with it, it’s probably time to stop talking and start listening. 

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Luke Aliga is a writer with a degree in Technical Writing and Communication who covers relationships, culture, and human interest topics.