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A woman in her 50s says her husband has lost interest in sex, while another man feels frustrated over his wife’s lack of intimacy. A third couple struggles with an unconsummated marriage. Sexologist Dr Hetal Gosalia explains how menopause, stress, emotional disconnect, anxiety and medical issues can affect intimacy, urging couples to communicate openly and seek professional help.

We are in our early 50s and my husband shows no interest in sex. I sometimes cry alone, feeling dejected. What can I do? C.V, Chembur

The human body is ruled by hormones, which can sometimes behave like a roller coaster. Since both of you are in your 50s, you may be passing through a transition phase in life. We all know about women’s menopause; similarly, men too go through andropause, though it is less spoken about. They may experience mood changes, low energy, low libido and erection issues. What I mean to say is that his behaviour may not be about you personally. Do not take it to heart or feel rejected. Sex is definitely an important part of intimacy and a healthy marriage, but sometimes understanding and emotionally supporting each other matters even more. This midlife phase is not the end of love or intimacy.

We have been married for five years, and my wife has shown zero interest in sex for the last year. We otherwise understand each other well. I feel very frustrated. Kindly guide. M.P, Andheri

A sex-starved marriage can be painful for both partners. You may both be suffering silently and living more like roommates. Having a good understanding does not always rule out emotional or interpersonal issues. Such situations usually develop gradually – from intimacy once a week, to once a month, until couples hardly remember when they last had sex. Often, suppressed unresolved issues, resentment, pregnancy, work stress, or mental exhaustion create emotional blocks.